Europhile: C'est ma vie!

It's nearing August, and teachers who had all buggered off to the riviera or the peninsula begin to drift back. Anticipation starts to fill the halls of the school, as the expectation of the new life of a new school year builds. New teachers, like myself, sit back and try to take it all in, but what (you may ask) does a new teacher think about? How will the new teacher prepare his or herself for the coming chaos? Let it be known that through the accumulation of wisdom, acquired during daydreams, evening dreams, nightmares and hallucinations, I have prepared a list of important steps to take, before embarking on a new school year. Though I have yet to take all of the steps, I am fully confident in their immense utility.

9) Organize your classroom the way YOU like it. Stash snacks for yourself around the room, install electronic "shockers" in various students' chairs, and hang things from the ceiling for easy access.

7) Fill office drawer with easily-forgettables, like ties, extra shirts, socks, belt and superman cape.

5) Prepare emergency demonstrations, such as the explosive Thermite reaction, the ping-pong cannon, smoke generator, and liquid nitrogen ice cream maker. They will be handy when a student asks a question you don't know the answer to and you need to distract them.

3) Install false wall in office, a la "The Hiding Place." Installation of a bed is ideal, but packing peanuts will do in a pinch.

2) Take lots of photos of excess of hair and lack of wrinkles. This will be good for posterity and will also help family and friends to recognize you after the school year is over.

1) Never forget that the classroom is not an exercise in democracy -- NO! It is an authoritarian regime, and not only that, it is YOUR authoritarian regime!

Look for a post around Christmas time of how these are working out for me. :)